Why the internet sucks, part 349- the Doritos “controversy”

The Super Bowl is the biggest sports event in the country, arguably the world.  It brings all kinds of attention and thus, ads.  They cost a shit ton, so they’re supposed to good.  Apparently, they’re also a topic people can tweet or comment about.  And that’s where it gets dumb.

NARAL is a political organization that is very pro-choice.  They chose to weigh in on the Super Bowl commercials, which is fine – welcome to Twitter and live tweets.  Everyone from celebrities, politicians and comedians chime in during such events.  Whatever your political affiliation though, their tweet caught my eye the next day.

To set it up, Doritos made a commercial where a dad is eating Doritos while his wife gets an ultrasound.  The baby/fetus gets excited and follows the dad’s snack around, which angers the lady.  She tosses the chip, which causes the baby to rocket out of the womb.  This is what NARAL said – “ – that @Doritos ad using tactic of humanizing fetuses & sexist tropes of dads as clueless & moms as uptight.

Dads as clueless?  OH MY GOD, I’VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING!  WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS (Homer Simpson) WOULD EVER PORTRAY (Peter Griffin) DADS (Phil from Modern Family)…oh wait…I’m a dad and I couldn’t give a shit less.  Has NARAL seen a commercial made in the last 15 years?  King of Queens or 100 other sitcoms?  Fat, bumbling dad, attractive wife, hearts of gold, it works out.  I hate those corny ass shows, but I don’t toss and turn at night over them.  Plus, a woman uptight during an ultrasound?  The nerve of those sexist bastards!

The real issue I have with this tweet is the first part.  #antichoice?  Should Doritos have made a hilarious ad where the fetus is terminated?  Would that be less offensive?  Also, humanizing fetuses?  I don’t know about you all, but I’ve about had it with these damn fetuses and their political agendas!  It’s about time we stand up to the thought of a baby being born and put our feet down!  By the way, NARAL; it’s a chip commercial.  You hurt your cause, just like a right winger who points out how illegal immigration is hurting the economy, then tosses in the word wetback.  Congrats, dummies, you’ve jumped the proverbial shark.  Is that #antishark?  Did I animalize sharks?  OH GOD, NOW WHERE DO WE GO?