Caffeine free pop is useless. If it doesn’t have the juice, just give me a beer.
If a sporting event starts after nine, there is a 99% percent chance I will fall asleep watching it. (In other words NBA, I have a real job – start the damn game at 8)
Every six months I notice something with my body that severely disappoints me. I hurt my foot a year ago turning around, but without taking a single step. That’s a low blow.
As a comic, I write less than I did when I started, but when I do, it’s a lot better than when I was younger.
No matter what you say or do, you will be unable to keep up with music. Perfect proof – see a 55 year old DJ in action. No Diggity is the newest dance song he’s got in the holster. No doubt.
You realize half the stuff from your childhood is awful. Don’t ever go back and watch your favorite shows or movies. Leave them in 1988 where they belong. I’m looking at you, Alf. My college roommate Camp and I watched Alf on TV Land in the early 2000’s. He called his dad to apologize for making him watch it with him as a kid.