When I was in college, my pal Brody was mentioning that he had the oldest air conditioning unit in the entire state of Ohio. I began arguing with him – mine was purchased in 1964. We went upstairs and compared – we were both right; we had the exact same model. Good work, 1964 GE. Of course, about six months later, mine, just to spite me, started spitting water all over the place, ruining my Jenny McCarthy poster. Or it was tired of her anti-vaccine bullshit. Probably that.
I thought of that air conditioner for one reason: every appliance I own has taken a hot dump in the last three years, plus a few other house items. My rental property need a new fridge recently, but worse is my house now. Since I moved in with my wife, we have replaced the fridge (died), oven (died), front door (can’t shut without steroids), back door (wouldn’t seal – insert your own joke), the hot water heater (you can figure out why), the washer and dryer (heart attacks, long story). Oh and the garage doors also, for good measure. Either our house is jinxed or my wife is a very strategic planner. If about two more things go in the house, I will have used up all my usefulness. I better start watching the mail for a life insurance policy increase on me… Hang in there, microwave. It’s you and me now!