If you are worried about robots replacing people in the workplace, please read. It may not be that bad.
I ordered some appliances over the weekend and was notified I would be contacted for delivery. The phone rang at 7:15 am on Monday, which means someone is dead, dying or going to make someone else dead or dying. I missed the call on purpose. I checked the voicemail, and lo and behold, it was the delivery manager with glad tidings. I made the mistake of calling back.
“Hello, can we help you?” Yes, I’m returning a call to Bud. “Hold please.” 2 minutes later, someone else picks up. “Hello, can I help you?” Yes, I was calling Bud, someone must have transferred me to the wrong department. “Hold please.” Four minutes pass. Now I am considerably less jovial, as I swerve through AM rush hour on a Monday listening to Islands in the Stream, the instrumental version. That is what we are. I forget the rest of the words.
Finally, another department, not Bud’s. “Are you holding for someone?” Yes, please don’t transfer me again. “Why didn’t you leave a message?” I would LOVE TO. I have been on hold for over five minutes, I can’t even get the department. Silence, as my words clearly confused the rep. “What’s the message?” I don’t know, he called me. I’m calling back. I guess it’s about a delivery. “It’s probably about a delivery.” At this point, the thin veil of kindness has been ripped open. YES, PROBABLY. JUST TELL HIM I CALLED HIM BACK. MY NAME IS CHRIS. “Did you order something?” Oh Jesus help me now. Give me strength. YES, THAT’S WHY I’M CALLING HIM BACK.
Then he poked the bear again. This has escalated. “So you didn’t order anything?” OH GODDAMNIT CAN I JUST RELAY THE FACT THAT I AM CALLING HIM BACK, I DON’T WANT TO HOLD OR TALK OR DISCUSS THIS ANYMORE! SHIT! The melonheaded dunce on the other end was silent, finally deducing that I may, in fact, be somewhat annoyed. “OK, gosh…I’ll tell him.” I knew he wouldn’t.
Then the actual driver called me and scheduled the delivery. Then Bud called and cancelled it. Then the driver called again, while I was at work and told me they were 15 minutes out. Then I realized if I didn’t have a wife and child to provide for and love, I would easily have driven to the store and made the entire employee base a statistic on a spreadsheet. One day at a time. One day at a time.