Man, thank goodness for people’s Facebook posts, or I wouldn’t know the answers to life! I thought I would share some wisdom I acquired from social media in the last week with everyone. (Warning: your brain may shut down. This is some smart stuff.)
1) The best way to argue about a controversial topic is to go on someone’s Facebook feed that you barely know and call them a sinner, bigot, moron or asshole. This really bridges that gap of ideas. It really closes the deal the nastier you get right off the bat; people love to be insulted by ex co-workers or middle school classmates barely remembered over their belief systems. I like to sing the old Coke commercial “I’d like to teach the World to Sing” when I read two strangers duke it out over politics on my news feed.
2) Some people think the best option for gay relationships is to make sure they can never be in committed relationships. “Hey! I demand all gays remain uncommitted promiscuous whore people like I like them! I’ll be damned if they can fall in love and settle down and make gay babies that will then decorate my city in pink triangles and rainbows! I don’t even like triangles! Trapezoids are much cooler!” I even saw one person let the world know that gay people don’t really exist because it takes straight people to procreate. That is foolproof science, everyone. No one has ever once had a baby with different traits than themselves, not even once. So I assume all the LGBT people I’ve met were made in a lab or black magic was involved. Thanks for the info!
3) Every war and organized mass murder in history was started by Christians. I read this post, which was helpful, because I forgot Hitler, Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot and ISIS were Bible thumpers like Alexander the Great, Attila the Hun and Julius Caesar. I really have to brush up on history.
4) The best way to handle the Confederate flag is to put it absolutely everywhere or remove all references to it outright and forever. Some think it should fly over the statehouse, government sponsored, despite the diverse racial makeup of that particular state. This is a good point, because the Civil War is still going on and we wouldn’t people to get confused and think there were 50 whole states in this country. Others think it should be removed from even Civil War video games and souvenir shops at places like Gettysburg. This is a good point too, since I remember the actual flag wasn’t the Stars and Bars, it was a big plain flag that just said “SOUTH” on it. I convinced now. Let’s have a book burning, those societies that selectively remember or block out historical references are always the best ways to go, like Nazi Gemany or Communist dictatorships like North Korea.
If you didn’t find this info helpful, I recommend you delete your Facebook page before the 2016 presidential election. I am warning you though, you are going to miss out on some gems!