Give credit where credit is due

Comedy is very weird in several categories, but one is the open mic (or open mike, I have no idea which is cool or correct.  You get it, you’re smart.)  Everyone can relate to a comedy show at a club, theater or assembly hall, but an open mic is a show where generally the only rule is that anyone can go up and do, excuse me, attempt stand-up comedy.  This means a typical open mic is a mix of comedians trying new material (or just going out for an excuse to drink) and new people that are sometimes humorous and other times out and out batshit crazy.

One of the longest running shows will have it’s last go of it tonight at 9:30 in Columbus; the Surly Girl Saloon Open Mic Comedy Night.  The bar is changing owners, so it will shut down Sunday until the remodel occurs.  Running an open mic takes some work and a lot has to come together.  I run one at 7:30 on Mondays at Rehab Tavern in town and have learned what all is involved.

You need a venue that can host a show, with a sound system that works.  You need comics and a crowd.  Really bad talent kills interest in a show; a really bad crowd makes comedians not want to show up.  Of course, the normal drunks not wanting to be quiet and pay attention is bad enough, but if some new comic thinks it’s cool and edgy to do a fan-friendly slur or other extremely offensive topic.; then the room can be shut down instantly.

My favorite story from that room is this.  Once out front, a woman pulled up in a van driven by her male friend.  “Wanna see my titties?” Boom, there they were before a person said a word. Then her dude drove her away to some creepy unknown fate. 10 minutes later, my pal Travis exclaimed, “Some homeless guy bled on my shoe!” WHEEL! OF! HIGH STREET! What a great venue.

The ultimate key to success is the host/emcee.  Surly ran for almost a decade because Sean Somerville wrangled all those cattle every single week.  Imagine this – you’re not feeling well, show must go on.  A couple comics a week text, email or Facebook message you three minutes before the signup cutoff.  If you let them go on, they just keep abusing your kindness.  If you don’t, you’re a dick and they talk shit about you even though they were the ones who were late.  The microphone is cutting out…or is it the speaker?  Last week 15 comics signed up.  This week it’s 32 and 10 want to go up early; six of whom tell you after you already made the list.  You have to watch the entire show, every week and by the way, track the time and light every single comic from the back, plus about half of them go over their time.  99% of the Earth would’ve been committed, punched someone or just quit.  Sean opened each show and ran it well the entire run.  I’ve never heard one person say anything bad about him and comics are basically middle schoolers with drinking and/or mental issues.  That’s more impressive than Cal Ripken’s streak.  Hopefully, something can fill the hole and the denizens of Columbus can get the same level of perfectly run shows that Sean can provide.  Thanks for the effort and for God’s sake, Sean – take a damn Wednesday off.