This was my last Father’s Day not being a Father, but I was thinking about what I will need to have ready to roll once Baby Coen decides to come out. Not the hospital bag, the dad knowledge.
1) Life. Whatever my kid is going through, it was harder and worse when I was her age. Except society, it’s going to hell. If society is better, I had something to do with it.
2) Sports. If you work hard, you’ll have success. If not, your mother’s genes are holding you back. Your dad was a sweet athlete.
3) Dating. You can date any guy whenever you want to start dating. As long as he’s a eunuch. If not, 34.
4) School. As long as you get a full ride to college, I don’t care what happens in school. Except American History. A’s only.
5) Finances. Your mom has all money, ask her.
I think that’s a good start. Oh and one more. Don’t watch your dad’s comedy until high school.