Our first real stop in Italy was Venice. Venice was built centuries ago on a swamp to get away from invading barbarians. Now they welcome foreign barbarians called tourists. We found out the first key to Italy – trying to figure out public transportation. You can drive in Italy, if you have the driving skills of Mad Max. I seriously think if you can fix brakes you would be a millionaire in three months. They park on the sidewalk, the buses tailgate about two feet of Vespas that swerve in and out, everyone speeds…oh and don’t count on ambulances, they don’t pull over for them. I think 75% of the people that need an ambulance die stuck in traffic. Except for Venice, by the way, no cars in the actual city, unless they drive under water. Don’t get hurt there either.
Venice was pretty cool. The whole city is over 100 islands with canals for streets. After walking around, I had to wee. I went to the water closet and they charged me 1.50 Euros to piss. This is weird because their streets are basically urinals. We did a gondola ride also and our gondolier (?) gave us a history of the city. Thanks to multiple concussions, I remember about a third of it, but most interesting is that it is illegal to build new buildings there. Like Detroit, in other words.
We had some great food in Venice, plus I found a store that sold Jim Beam. All was well. I did learn something though. The first two days I about had a stroke because no one would bring me the damn bill or more wine. One place we sat there for an hour. “They hate me because I’m an American! I know it!” I was about to smash a chair until I looked online and found out in Italy it’s considered rude to come back to the table unless asked. Oh and they don’t tip, so they really don’t have any motivation to come back. No problem Italy, looks like I’m ordering wine by the liter the rest of the trip.