One of the biggest misconceptions people have is that guys like bachelorette parties. If they do, they shouldn’t. A swirling mob of drunk women descend on a bar like locusts and devour free drinks like Prohibition is about to be reinstated, then disappear within in their protected circle, leaving disappointed morons with no numbers or money. As a comic, I would rather perform at the Double Deuce bar on Road House pre-Dalton than do a show with a bachelorette party. They scream, yell and shake penis memorabilia like they’re watching the Penis Bowl with no regard to the fact there is someone on a stage.
All that aside, apparently there are bizarre rituals even I didn’t know about. My fiancee ran errands for two days beforehand buying gifts…for her own party. Until I met her, the only thing I ever brought to a party was beer and my deficient self. Shirts, hygiene products, jewelry and most importantly, panties for the panty giveaway. I hope this doesn’t ever cross over. If my pals are buying me sexy briefs, I don’t want them at my parties.
In addition to the normal fun and games, there was also a game of pin the junk on the hunk. I have never played the game, but I think I understand the concept. In case I didn’t, it got brought home. It was great to come home from work and see a tanned naked man poster on my living room floor. Luckily for my fiancee, my body is exactly like the poster, only with more hair, backne, and fat.