Dumb or crazy?

Sometimes people say things so absent of thought, I wonder if they are dumb or slightly off.  Example – in high school, we were having a discussion about guys at our jobs trying to pull fast ones on newbies.  One guy got sent to find a bucket of steam, another got parts for a coffee maker when he worked at an auto repair shop and was told to put them back in the car (he tried for six hours).  The latter story prompted one of the fellows to say, “Did they have you top off the blinker fluid?  Ha ha.”  Another commented, “Where would you get blinker fluid?”  One, there is no such thing.  Two, we were having a conversation where we established the trickery and absurdity of the situations.  In this case?  Moron.

Last weekend I parked at the movie theater.  I was on the sixth floor and in a hurry.  There was a middle aged lady mumbling to herself and walking in circles, looking up, down, left and right.  As I passed her, she began to follow me, muttering to herself.  I began to get the fist ready with a bogey on my six.  Violence against women is bad, but if a homeless lady pulls a switchblade, it’s go time.  I’ve seen enough 80’s action movies to know parking garages are beehives of street violence.

As I hit the stairs, I heard, “What parking garage is this?”  I pointed to the sign, that was bright yellow and had the name of the garage.  She looked at it, then said, “But where are we?  Does it have another name?”  I don’t know lady, I’m late for Captain America.  You could be on fire and you’d be lucky to get spit at as I speed by.  She then followed me down the entire six floors muttering and finally said, “What other garages are around here?”  She was holding a phone like it was a wildcat and it was struggling to break free, but didn’t appear to know how to use it.

I could only assume she went up all six floors, then back down, meaning she not only didn’t know the geographic location of her parking garage, she didn’t even know the floor if she found it.  That takes a special type of confusion only generated from a massive concussion or a lobotomy.  Then I realized I’ve had five concussions and I was staring at the future.  I should probably buy some diapers this week just in case I get smacked in the head again sometime soon.