Do It Yourself = Save money for hell on earth

One of the perils of adulthood is that tasks come up where one has to make the decision – pay someone or do it yourself.  I am unskilled in most things, but I have yet to make a million dollars from comedy, so I choose the latter.  At rate things are going, this will be the case until 2311, when a million dollars will take three gigs to get due to hyperinflation.

My headlight went out, so I popped the hood.  Then I remembered whomever designed my car is a sadistic sociopath and I have to take the entire front bumper off just to change the bulb.  I looked at Youtube for tips and the first video was a seven year old doing it.  Well, now I have no damn choice.  Two hours later, I had sliced my knuckles open, broken three plastic pieces I hope aren’t important and went through three entire metal albums just to change a headlight.  One more headlight issue and I’m pulling insurance fraud to get a new car.

Last night, I cleaned the sump pump.  Before I moved into my wife’s house, I had never seen a sump pump.  Online, a guy showed me how to clean it.  The difference was that the one he cleaned was pristine, well lit, and accessible.  Mine was tucked in a dark corner and looked like Swamp Thing’s bowel movement.  I had to go so far as too cut the sleeve off my old King Cobra malt liquor tee to cover my face.  I could almost hear my wife, “No!  Not your 1998 King Cobra shirt!  It’s my favorite!”  Sorry, dear, I know it’s your favorite shirt of mine, but sacrifices must be made.  Sadly, I have a lot of experience cutting sleeves off.  Maybe I should make a Youtube video.

I got it cleaned and now I play the waiting game.  What will burn out or need DIY next?  If my wife sees a seven year remodel a kitchen, I am screwed.