On the road, things come up that you never expect. One time I went to McDonald’s and walked in the restroom. I looked down and realized the guy in the stall had removed his shoes while shitting. I was so stunned, I exclaimed, “What in the hell are you doing? No shoes?” I saw him shift his feet and put on top on his shoes. Oh, well now it’s not weird, thanks for doing that.
Recently I was heading back to town when I had to use the boys room. There was only a rest area nearby, so I pulled over. As I was sitting there, a janitor entered. It sounded like he was wrestling a bear in the stall next to me. I lost my focus so badly I nearly took my shoes off – just kidding, CALL BACK! He moved to the other stall and I suddenly saw his latex glove reach under the stall and pick up a stray piece of TP. In my bathroom zone. Unless it’s a live grenade, Ralph, keep your damn hands out of my personal space. Well, as personal as a rest stop bathroom can be. Maybe he was trying to untie my shoelaces. Clearly the no shoe guy is still in my head. I need a therapist.
Seen your name on the Rock on the Range bill, congrats!