Maybe I listen to too much sports radio, but it seems like this is biggest story in America right now. Two sides dig in and prepare for trench warfare. The first are the “beat ’em senseless, it’s good for ’em” crowd that acts like as long as they don’t bruise, have at it. “Use a sack of oranges, that’l learn ’em!” The others are the people that act like if you correct a child at all, you’re kid Hitler and they’ll be in therapy for 27 years. “Then I wasn’t allowed a cookie before dinner!” “OH MY GOD! BREAK THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE! Have some happy pills.”
There is truly only one correct assessment of this situation. I heard a caller to a show say, “How can you hit a child? How can you lay hands on the life you created?” Another then called and said no discipline leads to entitlement and a life of lawlessness. I have the answer. I’ll beat your kids for you. It’s tough work, but someone has to do it.
If I need motivation, I’ll just dive into the memory bank and think of the white trash mom at Revco who was letting her kids play with all the crappy drug store toys when I was a stock boy. They were throwing the over-priced plastic at each other and knocking everything off the shelves. It got so bad I was called to clean the aisle. I cleared my throat and began restocking the shelves. The kids thought it was funny, so they started knocking more off the shelves. The woman looked at me with disdain, like I was interrupting her kids’ trip to Disneyland. It was at that moment I realized my true purpose in life. You’re welcome, America. Now where’s my sack of oranges?