Why do all the morons seek me out?

I went to an event this weekend.  I was about to pay for parking at a kiosk that had the price listed.  About six feet away was a bright yellow sign, three feet tall that said “$5 Event Parking.”  A man came up to me and said, “How much is it to park here?”  I looked at the sign.  “I think $5.”  The man behind me then, trying to outdo the other idiot, “Does this thing take cash?”  “Yes.”  “OK, because I’m paying with a card.”  “Why did you ask me if it took cash?”  “Because I’m using a card.”  Sigh.

The very next evening, I went to get my growler filled at the movie theater.  That’s right, my local theater sells beer to go, it’s amazing.  I was walking to the door, when a cracked out looking dude was staring into the window.  “Hey, is anyone working?”  I sadly realized he was speaking to me.  Shit.  About three or four people walked through the door, but it didn’t register with him.  “Yes, just go in the door.”  “How much are the tickets?”  I stared him down.  “I have no idea.  I don’t work here.  However, if you go in, I’ll bet they can tell you!”  He was impervious to my sarcasm.  “Is it expensive?”  I repeated my prior answer, verbatim.  He finally followed me in, looked that $8 price and said, “Damn!”  Then he left.  Drugs beat movies, apparently.