I went to a show Wednesday night – one of the dreaded “comedy contests”, but it was near my place and I had some new(er) material to try out. Everything was fine until just before the show a gentleman approached me. As a kid pointed out that the building across the street was smoking and on fire, his mom kindly pointed out that was something called a chimney. Looks like Jimmy’s no fire marshal. Then the guy next to me said, “Smoke…hell, we can’t smoke anywhere! Not even near the hospital! (You’re losing me…) They’ll pull those ambulances right up there and they give off smoke!” Never mind they’re also full of people…that are dying. Details, details.
Then it got good. I made a comment about how the laws have restricted smoking everywhere, which prompted this – “Hell, the government has a cure for cancer, but they’re keeping it a secret. Ever seen a president die of cancer?” No, I said, but Ted Kennedy did and he was pretty high up. Point taken? Of course not! “They probably killed some 19 year old kid to get Dick Cheney a new heart.” Now I’m out for sure. Then again, I haven’t seen Randy in a while. Ha ha, just kidding, this guy was nuts. I did, however, remember an important rule. DON’T EVER TALK TO ANYONE. Especially before a show. Do you know how hard it was to perform with this guy staring at me? Especially when he wasn’t laughing?