I saw a story last week about a man/idiot who jumped a railing at the Bronx Zoo to “be one with the tiger.” Amazingly, the tiger mauled him when he tried to pet it. The hell, you say. Unfortunately, the tiger must have been full, because it didn’t eat him and they actually had to save this asshole.
What’s amazing is the reporter covering the story found this maniac’s Facebook page saying how he wanted to be one with nature. After the mauling, he said he was happy because he got to pet the tiger. I feel like he needs some help. Everyone knows tigers are more friendly if you cover yourself in a meat suit, like Lady Gaga. Oh, and make sure you poke it with a sharp stick first! Then all will be well and the world has one less moron.