In honor of my radio appearance today, I harken back to a simpler time when I was an unknown DJ instead of this unknown comedian. I signed up for a class in college and to complete the one single useless credit, I got to DJ a three hour show. It would have been four, but they pre-empted “51%” over my first hour. It’s a show about women’s issues on NPR aka politically correct version of stuff I know nothing about. Great!
I then was told my format was “Adult Album Alternative.” I didn’t know what that meant, but basically not only crappy college music (colleges got free shitty CD’s to sample/use as beer coasters), but easy listening also. With “51%” and easy listening, I might as well have called my time the Vagina Boy Hour, starring Chris Coen. Needless to say, I had issues with the professor. I played one GNR song and he gave me a warning. That song? The thrash metal axe-grinder “Don’t Cry.”
Well, I got back at them. If my show is going to suck, I thought…it’s really going to suck. I found a Native American crooner that did all songs about animals with titles like, “My Brother the Eagle” and “The Majestic Wolf.” He would sing, then an eagle would cry. Next song he sang, then a wolf howled. I played that garbage on repeat, then read “fun” facts to close out the show, like when the National Cow Chip Tossing Championship was being held and where. The semester ended and I never DJ’d again. But somewhere in New Concord, Ohio, someone has that damn animal CD replaying in their nightmares. Thanks for listening to our show. Stay safe, and Vagina Boy thanks you for listening. ARROOOOOOOOOO!!!!!