People these days love to ask questions already answered. I get about three or four questions a month – when are doing a show next? Well, if you’re reading this, its on this very site! Wow! Technology! I had someone message me – what is the venue’s policy on tickets? Funny, because I had the venue’s website and phone number in the show details. Plus, they contacted me via the “internet” so I know they could’ve looked it up, called, sent a carrier pigeon. You know what’s the worst? Of those four messages a month, 95% NEVER SHOW UP. EVER! NOT ONCE.
Do people call Axl Rose or text him when they go to a Guns N’ Roses concert? Of course not. “Hey Axl, are you singing “Civil War? I like that song!” Do people message A Rod when checking out a Yankees game about the beer prices? No. That would be dumb. “Hey, Obama…I’m going to DC next month. What time does the Smithsonian open up?” Did you check out the “internet”? (Assuming he answered) “No, I thought I would text you personally!” Thanks, but I’m running the country. No idea. Yes, I did put myself on the level of Axl, A Rod, and Obama, but I am funnier than all three put together so pound sand. Oh, and if you need details, check out www.gopoundsand.com. (Secret…it’s not a real website…) You won’t, so just message me personally, I give you the details, then you no show anyway and I ferret away another rage factor that leads to a stroke.
All that rage aside, I love when you folks come to my shows. It’s awesome. If, however, you never plan on coming…ever…then…oh what’s the point? You’re going to message me anyways. Tell you what, my next show is in Gary, Indiana. Free tickets! Wear a shirt that says something about white power and you get in free!