Sadly, almost 40% of lottery winners $2 million or more go bankrupt in three years. Why? Because white trash play the lottery and when they win, they buy fourteen cars and pay off their horrible extended families…then they realize the behemoth federal government eats up over 50% of their winnings and it is gone. None of this, however, deters us as Americans from salivating over what we would do upon winning.
If I won, I would pay off my mortgage, car and set up an annuity like a college scholarship. Then I would disappear. My mansion in the hills would have a brewery. I would shoot at anything that broke into my 12 foot high walls (assuming they got over the moat also) with a .50 cal. The isolation would drive me insane (I’m already there) and I would run around nude and scream at falling leaves while ’80’s metal blared in the background.
Inside I would have a bar on every floor and I would erect marble sculptures of Lincoln, Washington, and myself every 20 feet. The main floor would be a living tribute to my high school football and comedy careers. I would have something like clowns fighting various wild animals every Tuesday, because I could afford it. I would have an eagle sanctuary out back next to my live action American battle reenactment field, which would involve Rambo wiping out all the commies at the end, no one matter what actual battle was going on. When my liver fails at 43, I would leave my decadent estate to freedom and liberty, which aren’t real people, so it would collapse in disrepair by 2040.
God, please let me win the powerball…all those white trash will just waste that money. Look at the good I can do…