There is a show on Nat Geo (that’s what Nat’l Geographic is called now, it’s so sophisticated, they think you’re too dumb to say “geographic”) about Amish, mostly focusing on ex-Amish. I was flipping and caught one where a girl wanted to BECOME Amish. I capitalized that because it blew my mind, but I, being known across the land as tolerant of all voices broke it down.
Pros – 1) Women have to listen to men. Since this always happens to me now, this is kind of a wash. 2) Home cooked meals! Every night! 3) You can “shun” people. This seems fun. 4) That’s about it, unless you want to learn German. 5) Oh, and cool old-timey names likes Ephraim and Cephus.
Cons – 1) A lot of hymns. Hymns stink. Drop the chords a full step and power chord those up, I am falling asleep. 2) No anything – internet, TV, movies, hell even radio. How would you hear Chris Coen’s comedy? 3) Hair buns on women. Nothing says, “I don’t enjoy sex” like a nice hair bun. 4) No alcohol. How do you get buzzed? Have a horse kick you in the head? 5) Working in pants in the fields. I don’t like golf, but I get annoyed when told to wear pants on the links because camo shorts are too WT, let alone plowing a field in black homespun slacks. Yuck.
Well, that does it – beer and metal prevail over fresh rolls and mule kicks. Good luck, though, to the Amish convert. Make sure you shave below the neck before you get in, it’s your last shot.