I went to the open mike Wednesday and much to my glee and evil, there was a young kid making his comedy debut. Poor unsuspecting bastard… He workshopped some jokes and they were, how do I say, in need of some refinement. He upheld Chris Coen’s rules of comedy #14 – “Any new, young, white comic will, without fail, do a joke about jerking off.” (I think I have a new series of blogs on the way…)
As I have previously stated, new comedians are like watching black and white films of flying contraptions from the late 1800’s. They get off the ground quickly and then crash into a mangled heap of suck. All his pals were out, filming him pre-show, taking pictures, tweeting…it was depressing to see that much excitement, since every comic loses that after about 10-15 atomic bombs. Nothing, I mean nothing, ruins your mood like writing jokes for a month then finally getting onstage and eating a bag of shit.
He didn’t do too bad…by new guy standards. In other words, if 25 of his friends don’t come to every show, he is going to be on suicide watch right after the show. Good luck, newb! Don’t shoot up the place!