I finally got a smartphone and realized my life is now infinitely better. I was able to tweet about white trash at the bowling alley, map directions, and find low gas prices in under five minutes. I, however, found that they have apps for EVERYTHING.
My favorite new app? Period tracker. It’s free! I’m sure it was invented for women, but this is the greatest app ever created. Co-worker acting a little bitchy? Now you have proof. Girlfriend being extra needy? One click and you know whether it’s time to apologize or mother nature’s flow is ruining her day…and yours. I once dated a girl who went on an angry tirade – “I hate when guys assume it’s my period whenever I am angry! It really pisses me off!” Me: “Is it your time?” Her: “Yes.” Me: “Hmmm. Wonder why guys would ever say that?” (We broke up)