Not appropriate for children

I got a last second call for a cancer benefit show recently.  I walked in and realized of the 35 or so attendees, about 9 were children ranging from newborn to age 9.  I planned a “clean” set, as you are supposed to do at benefit shows.  My brain started working, though, and I realized my version of clean isn’t necessarily good enough with six year olds listening.

First, it’s hard to be funny for kids.  Am I going to do all my school lunch humor?  Perhaps a well thought out bit on recess?  Of course not.  That is why kids aren’t allowed to most shows.  Second, I have clean jokes that reference drinking…those are out.  How about my thoughts on race or sexual orientation that are clean…probably should cut those also.  At least I have family jokes, like my grandma material…oh wait, it’s about her cursing.  Long story short, I did three minutes of jokes and felt like I had a straight jacket on.  Maybe for next time, I’ll learn some magic tricks.  Or just never do comedy with kids in the room.  That sounds better.