Sometimes some strange things happen and this was the case a week ago last Friday. I was asked to via this website’s contact form to try out for a commercial. My first thought was, someone’s going to rob or rape me. I’ve seen Deliverance. I asked for more details and was sent a script. A store locally wanted a local actor or comedian to try out for a 30 second spot. I was skeptical, then I saw they paid well and what the hell.
The script casting called for a good looking (well, clearly I have that down), 30-35 year old male (nailed that), high energy (now I’m fucked) spokesman to interview the woman on the street. Maybe it was the dozen beers, but I thought I had a shot. I handwrote the script out, reviewed it about 20 times and went to sleep (passed out playing video games) with visions of Hollywood in my stupid brain.
I got to the tryout and quickly realized from stealing a glance that I was the only real comedian on the sheet. Every other guy was a full blown actor. The guy before was so hyper I thought his brain would hemmorage as he was pacing about the room. I could hear his excited yelling and realized I was probably not their man. Better count on the looks, that’s never let me down!
I walked in the room and spat out the script – almost perfectly word for word. Then the director said, “You’re a comedian right?” Yes… “You’re probably pretty sarcastic onstage? Low key?” Yes… “Well, I need you to step up the excitement! Act like you just ran in here!” At that point, I knew I was boned. I tried, but soon the creeping realization that my excitement was limited to 1) furious rage and 2) extreme intoxication. They asked me to impov and I froze up like a 14 year old boy seeing a naked girl for the first time. I forgot 90% of the lines and walked out in shame.
After this experience, I realized the following – 1) Getting the script more than 16 hours in advance probably helps. 2) I need an acting class…or a mountain of cocaine to play high energy guy. 3) I need everyone else who trys out to die of bubonic plague. Even then, it’s still probably 50/50. Haven’t got that call yet…oh well, no talent worked for most of Hollywood. Move over, Pauly Shore, there’s a new star in town!