“I want to do stand up!”

I hate some things, but my least favorite doing comedy is the guy that comes up to me and says, “I want to try comedy, any advice?”  Yes.  Get your ass onstage.  Every 3-4 months I get dragged into mundane conversation like this – if you won’t do it, why ask me for advice?  “I want to win the Super Bowl.  Any thoughts?”  Yes, how about you start by playing football?

A guy at the show tonight decided to speak to me about this topic.  During the show.  I will pass on open mike info, give pointers about how shows work, etc. to anyone.  If you want to break down the nuances of comedy, no thanks.  Get over your stage fright and do it.  How are we going to discuss stage presence, material, timing, topic selection and God knows what when I know deep down inside, you’re fulfilling some weird dream of making people think you’re almost a comic…because you spoke with the emcee for five minutes.

That felt good.  While I’m thinking about it, don’t tell me jokes you heard that I heard when was eight and say, “You can use that!”  Or come up to me and say, “That one guy was great!”  Go tell him – you basically just said, “You’re inferior to the other person who’s not standing here!”