I decided to paint my condo this weekend. Sounds easy enough, I thought. It would have been easy, if I wasn’t more or less a caveman. I went to buy paint and realized there were 523 whites. Why are white colors in red/yellow/blue color coded sections? Whatever – I’ll go with this one…of course there’s then satin, semi-gloss, high gloss, and flat, some marked enamel, some marked exterior. God this sucks, where’s the paint person? NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. After 15 minutes of feeling (even more) stupid, I grabbed some crap and left.
My girlfriend showed up and proceeded to point out I picked Ultra Pure White, which would have made my place look like a medical lab or Superman’s Fortress of Solitude. I took it back and then was told the color codes are the blends that go in the white to make one of the four million other shades of white. This is too complicated. Maybe I should just paint everything black so it doesn’t matter and start hanging out with goth weirdos who like that look. That sounds better.