I have been to a ton of weddings and noticed common themes. When I walked into one Saturday, I was greeted by “way too excited and interested in everyone lady”. Every sentence was delivered like she was talking to people in heaven for the first time. “Oh, my, it’s SO NICE to see all you wonderful people! I love when we all get together!” (No one knew who this lady was). I looked over later and saw her pounding wine like her throat was on fire. That explains a lot.
Kids dancing is a staple of weddings and quite sly, as parents use this to wear the little hellions out for the ride home. There’s always a little kid that’s way too excited and a drunk guy that is breaking it down by himself near the bar, waiting for the kids to get off the floor so he can try to woo whatever ladies showed up without dates. I know this from experience, sadly.
Finally, there is the complete mess. Usually a female, very drunk, probably dressed a little too slutty and very insistent that this was the best wedding ever. “Oh my God, you two are SO perfect together, I just know this will work out!” Thanks, saucehound! Have you met my friend the dancing guy by the bar? I think you two should hit the dance floor for our amusement.