I hosted the Columbus Funny Bone’s open mike Tuesday and there were three new comics. A rather non-thin chick with a deep voice, an Aryan looking dude with three kids, and a hyper black guy who said “MAN!” at least 45 times in five minutes. The first time you do comedy you are TERRIFIED. That said, other comics don’t speak to you. Why? It’s like Band of Brothers. Why make nice to the newb that might take a bullet and die, i.e. quit after a month? If you don’t know him, then whatever.
After going over two minutes, newbie Sons of Anarchy guy kept apologizing to me, like I owned the club. I’m the emcee. I get free beers and a meal (sometimes). I don’t care. Then he asked me to critique his set. 1) I didn’t listen. You’re new and I knew you would suck. 2) You’re new. You are going to quit, 95% chance, within three weeks. 3) All new comics bomb. Fact. Jim Carrey got booed off the stage. Brian Regan’s first set was at a movie theater before a Mickey Mouse movie. 4) Everyone that gives advice usually sucks. Tape your act, tough it out for six+ months. Then we’ll talk.