I’ve won three comedy competitions in my day, lost I think seven or eight others. When I won, I said “Thank God, I don’t have to do that anymore.” When I lost, I said, “That’s the last one ever.” Then I do it again. This weekend I’m doing Wiley’s in Dayton. It’s for $1000, but you have to outlast 79 others. That’s bad odds, but the things I could do with a grand…like pay bills. Oooo, I’m getting antsy in the pantsy thinking about that excitement and pure unbridled fun. Take that society, with all your rules!
Last year I did it and had easily the best five minute set of my life. I got booted in the first round. Some trailer park trash brought 70 people and won the whole thing with less than four months of experience. After his set, he told me about going out on the road. I was floored that he was out on the road at that stage…until he told me “on the road” meant he did a Sunday show at a bar a county over for $20. Ah yes, the Killing Road. Did your wife leave you? Sounds like a Merle Haggard song is about to play. On the drive home I was annoyed and said no more of these. Then I won “Funniest Person in Cincy; Semi-Pro.” Look out Wiley’s, I’m back!
Good luck bro.