Home phone service = customer service

I got a sales call for adding home phone service – for just $20/month!  Wow, that sounds more convenient than my cell phone I carry everywhere.  As I hung up the phone, I remembered why I got a cell in the first place.  Upon moving to Chicago in 2001, I was charged $70 for an installation fee by Ameritech (read: Scumdick Inc.) for a line that already existed.  Less than than two weeks in, the line corrupted and I was left w/out any service in a big city where I knew no one.  Scumdick Inc. wanted to charge me $95 to send a tech to my apartment for fix the line they just “installed”.  I told them, on a pay phone at a four way stop, using a calling card I had purchased (yes, I am old enough to have actually bought calling cards and used a pay phone), that I would pay for nothing unless they refunded my bogus “installation” fee.  As I sat on hold for 45 mins waiting on a manager, my calling card expired.  I bought another one in a seething rage and got the exact same treatment – on hold this time for 50 mins., the previous 10 arguing w/ a grunt why I needed a manager.  In full view of the public, enjoying their summer day, I began screaming vile and mostly incoherent phrases as I smashed the pay phone against the base until it was in four dozen pieces and my hand was covered in blood.  I immediately drove to the nearest mall and bought a cell plan, signing with my deformed paw much to the horror of the teenage girl working at the kiosk.

As luck would have it, I moved to Columbus and got a call from Scumdick Inc. six months later about adding home phone service.  I asked the lady if they recorded these calls and she said yes.  I then told her it wasn’t her fault, but I would love to voice my concerns over  her employer’s less than stellar customer treatment.  20 minutes later, I lost my voice and she was in tears (despite me saying after every cursing tirade that she was not to blame), but I felt satisfied knowing that some bag of shit suit had to listen to my violent explosions in order to close some stupid file on open complaints.

My point is, remember the next time you tell someone your corporate policy prevents you from doing the right thing, they are possibly screaming like a lunatic at your stupid company and bashing a receiver into the metal face of your phone booth, costing you five times what the refund would be anyways.  OK, that’s only me, b/c I’m a loon, but my point is – eat me Ameritech and home phone service is for people w/ kids and the Amish.