I saw a story about a group that wants to ban Ronald McDonald. In San Francisco, they’ve already banned toys from Happy Meals. There are government lobbyists trying to ban bake sales and pizza days. You could make tofu and broccoli the only menu choices and kids will be fat. Why? A lot of reasons. Believe it or not, some people are endomorphs, which means they’re bigger genetically. Banning a creepy clown will probably encourage kids to suck down Happy Meals. Plus, any of you do gooders ever hear of the Ronald McDonald House? Worldwide charity, backed by the “evil” McDonald’s that provides housing at no cost for parents of chronically ill kids? How about you moron schools quit banning recess and gym for tolerance class and self esteem planning?
This country is being turned into pussies. You get gold stars for C+ papers and trophies in sports. Every team, even the team that gets last. Good lesson for Junior, since life kicks you in the nuts and steals your wallet. I got grounded for a C on a midterm and I told my parents (I didn’t call them by their first name, btw) that I was being treated unfairly. Their response was that my standard was higher and they confiscated my NES for six weeks. In reflection, they knew I was a pure genius that I needed a kick in the ass. Unfortunately, they couldn’t reach me after puberty and I never learned another lesson ever…but as for kids under ten, spare the NES ban, spoil the shitbag kid.
All this said, I want to have a kid (boy) to train into my evil minion. I will brainwash (teach!) him into a cold and heartless being to conquer the weak and fickle world. Yes, do my bidding, offspring…together we shall rule. Or you will step on enough dreams to let me retire rich, since Social Security is going bankrupt on my 57th birthday. Either way, I think my intentions are pure and by pure, I mean the self absorbed babblings of a madman.