My aunt was recognized last night by the Ohio Foundation of Independent Colleges as the 2011 Volunteer of the Year, proving yet again the value of Coens to the world. I heard a lot of speeches from dignitaries about their experiences in college and the advantages of a liberal arts education. They also waxed philisophically on their decisions to attend their respective institutions. Maybe I am way different, but college wasn’t really some life changer for me like that. I went to Muskingum College (now University) b/c I got a full ride (yes, I’m a genius) and my Dad told me if I turned it down he would use the Ranger chokehold he learned in the Army on me if I didn’t. I even delusionally played a year of football as a 201 lb. offensive lineman, even though at that point I was smoking half of pack a day and had as much chance of seeing the field as Sean Astin had of suiting up for Notre Dame (in the 70’s, now who knows?). I heard stories tonight like “I remember walking the lake at (said college) with my future wife.” My college stories were more like, “One time I put on a mini skirt for $12 and walked through New Concord. Then I mooned a cop.” I hated school and almost transferred until I joined a fraternity and started drinking like most people breathe. In all fairness, I drank like that before I pledged, but I went home every other weekend to party in my buddy’s abandoned trailer w/ no heat outside of Zanesville. I was awarded the XXX award (Tri Chi, not dirty) which went to the pledge who was the craziest young punk in the class for streaking a sorority and in general being a psychopath. I would parlay this experience in real life by not adjusting to responsibility and having several run-ins with many police officers and authority figures. I did get some great stories, however, and thanks to Justin Camp, my roommate of three years, eventually got into stand up. Thanks college.