Bad haircuts

For my entire HS life, I had a high and tight.  First combed w/ a part, then straight forward.  Then, I decided to let it flow and did a modified buttcut, but with short bangs.  Imagine the middle part with a paintbrush, but very greasy.  After college, I got lazy and found out I have these lucious locks, curly and thick, soon to be thinning on the crown.

Why is it, though, that every time I get my mane trimmed, the chick tries to make me look like an angry lesbian?  Tease the front, hair spray, slick the sides down.  Did you see what I looked like upon arrival?  Not a sapphic princess with a wallet chain!

The worst ever though, was when my Mom took me to the salon at age nine to get a spike…and apparently, a “body wave”, which meant perm in the back.  I came home and ran out to join the neighborhood wiffleball game and Brad, the dickhead 15 year old called me a “half a fag.”  The next day at school I fought two kids who rightfully taunted my fruity locks.  After the activator ran its course, I destroyed all pictures, save my UAW team photo from Y City Little League (champs, FYI).  I swore then to leave my birth mother in a nursing home and paint clown makeup on her upon senility to exact my dark revenge.  Now excuse me, I have to shave my back.