Please God, no more than one hot takes per week please – Super Bowl Halftime edition

I’m now convinced the internet should be abolished. It’s been building a while, but the Super Bowl halftime show has finally done what elections, Farmville and the comments sections of every show couldn’t. HOT TAKES! HOT TAKES ALL AROUND!

Yes, the dripping irony of a hot take blog about hot takes, but seriously people. It’s been three days. Here’s where we stand, thus far.

First, sharing someone else’s thought and thinking you are profound is anything but profound, so there’s that. A monkey can toss another monkey’s turd just as well as his own.

Second, the show was a bit inappropriate, but society is still standing. We are OK. You know what? Some people didn’t like it. You don’t have shoehorn OH THEY MUST HATE WOMEN AND SPANISH WORDS into the mix just as much as you don’t have to act like a hint of a butt cheek has toppled our moral standing. Honestly, if the camera man wouldn’t have zoomed in on J-Lo’s honey hole, half of this discussion wouldn’t be happening. Some people are prudish about their entertainment, others more so when it’s the most watched event of the year. My grandma cursed like a sailor, but if a show used foul language, she was furious. Can’t really explain it, but that’s what it is. I saw people actually arguing whether it was empowering or demeaning to women. How about neither? Maybe it was just what it was.

Third, the NFL is a pro sport. Pro sports have a level of violence, sure, but it’s controlled. Stop comparing football to the gladiator pit, you sound like an asshole. I saw TONS of people using the comparison. You can quit football any time and last I checked, I make less than every single NFL player. Gladiators to my knowledge didn’t have great health coverage and vacation pay with athletic trainers. They kind of died, especially the ones fed to wild animals alive in front of 40,000 people.

The internet breeds this buzz of negativity that people lap up like dogs at a water bowl. I saw a story last night scrolling across ESPN’s screen “ONE VOTER WHO DIDN’T VOTE FOR JETER IN HALL OF FAME WON’T RELEASE NAME.” Jeter should be in the Hall of Fame, but rather than that be the story, all I’ve heard on him for a month is the one guy who DIDN’T vote him in. Babe Ruth didn’t get unanimous voting in. Jeter will be fine. ESPN has figured out though, that being a shit stirrer gets them web hits and whatever buzz, so this is the result. I can’t believe that I, the former crown prince of negativity, am in this position, but here we are. Maybe we don’t have to cancel the internet, but seriously, for your mental health, please stay away from the comments section of anything or you deserve whatever you get.