Please God, stop acting like the halftime show matters

The Super Bowl is upon us and quite frankly, I couldn’t care less.  The Patriots go every year and I’ve watched 15 seconds of Rams football since 2001.  All the stupidity comes out the week before – what foreign press agent will ask a dumb or inappropriate question?  What is the defensive backs coach REALLY like?  Is Tom Brady _____?  Seriously, we know everything humanly possible about Tom Brady, he’s been to 33 Super Bowls.  ENOUGH WITH TOM BRADY INTERVIEWS.

Then we get to the halftime show.  Breaking news: It will be awful.  Here’s the only one that wasn’t and I’ll explain why.

I would rather watch a recording of Prince than whatever they have planned.

Prince was amazing.  Why?  He was a supremely talented performer and played music.  What do most shows do?  “Hey, let’s take this musical act and shoehorn in 165 dancers with glitter jumpsuits and ribbons trying to dance like a high school flag corps.  Then toss in a jumbotron, smoke and 15 seals with beach balls.  Perfect!  Oh, and most important – only play 45 seconds snippets of every overplayed song they’ve ever done.  Back to back to back like we’re trying to induce a stroke.”

I have zero opinions on Maroon 5 when it comes to character and I have never once in my entire life sought out their music, but whatever poppy/dance numbers they have will be on display.  It has nothing to do with Colin Kaepernick.  He’s a football player; they’re musicians.  He’s been out of the league for years and is doing just fine.  Nothing they do will affect or impact his cause; they’re a pop band.  I actually wished every band supported him by protesting until they cancelled the damn halftime show so we don’t have to watch at all.  I think the media pushing the “controversy” is a classic example of getting people worked up over absolutely nothing.  I’ll recap it for you now.  It’s going to be ADD on steroids, it’s going to suck and no one will care about it until they do one of those “ranking the Super Bowl halftime shows” things next year and every year after.

So here’s my vote – let whatever band play their music, get rid of the laser show and horde of mimes and street magicians or whatever they have in the background and be done with it.  Oh and don’t act like if you think Maroon 5 sucks, you’re going to buy all their albums if they cancel or take a knee.  This is America in 2019.  Everyone will move on to the next “I’m pissed about this” issue in four days.