Your fancy newfangled music sucks and you’re going to hear about it – the 40 chronicles

I feel like now that I am releasing any bonds to youth, I am obligated to tell everyone younger than me that TV was perfect back in the day, movies were amazing and most importantly, music is trash.  The last one I can get on board with…with an asterisk.  I’ve always thought most music sucks, so yay for me being ahead of the curve!

Anyone who grew up in my era probably rode in a bench seat with no seat belt listening to 70’s folk rock/yacht rock on the radio with your mom or in total silence dodging cigarette butts with your grandparents.  Good stuff and I still like a lot of it, mostly because it’s not disco, which mercifully died before my awareness of music.  Then the 80’s came along.  Other than maybe the 60’s, no other decade was better for popular music.  Google 1984 and prepare to crap your pants.  I’ve always like hard rock, metal, and classic rock, so the 80’s were probably the last time you could hear some form of rock n roll on the radio without diving into the bottom of the radio.  Sure, there’s usually one rock station in every town, but they’re playing rap rock from 2003 as classic now, so that’s depressing.

Then the 90’s happened.  Some good stuff until about 1997, then ushered in the worst time in modern music.  My roommate played James Brown at a party in college and a girl yelled, “How are supposed to dance to this?” and put in techno.  That pretty much sums it up.  Like edgier stuff?  Biggie and Tupac died and we got Ja Rule and Mystikal.  The grunge bands broke up and we got Creed and Limp Bizkit.  It was the Great Depression of music.

Since then, pop music is still vapid, maybe more so, rock is pretty much dead and mumble rap is everywhere.  There’s too many guys with ukuleles and beards in alternative – what happened to real men making music, wearing spandex and makeup and using too much Aquanet?  Rap that stole all their beats from 70’s funk, like God intended?  Country that wasn’t sung by dudes that looked like they should have been in hair metal bands?  Looking at your Florida-Georgia Line.

When men were…oh never mind.

Oh and the fact I don’t have time to listen to music much with kids may skew this.  I’ve heard the Snow White and Trolls soundtrack 173 times since July.  Everything sucks.