See how the title went from sexy to…even more sexy? That’s right, it’s fantasy football draft season! Where every alcoholic football fan becomes a powerful GM and team president. It’s simply the best. I decided to rank the fantasy sports, so you too, can understand more about this (fake) sports excitement.
WORST – Baseball. WORST (FANTASY) SPORT EVER. You have to check your lineup every single day. Baseball players after about 1994 get put on the DL if they sneeze too hard or get a hangnail. It is exhausting, well, as exhausting as fantasy sports can get.
NEXT WORST – Basketball. Outside of four or five teams, does anyone give a warm poo about the NBA? Have fun researching the Milwaukee Bucks roster for a backup power forward. Be sure to peruse the stat sheets online for the Sacramento Kings vs. the Denver Nuggets to gain some insight. Just awful.
OK – Hockey. If you can understand plus/minus and pay minimal attention it’s OK. Similar to the NBA, good luck following the Winnipeg Jets backup goalie situation. The good news is hockey players will play if they are on fire, so less injury checks.
MILDLY GOOD – Nascar. I know, I thought it would suck also. It’s only once a week and any idiot can keep up. You just pick five drivers a week and can only use a driver five times overall. Plus I kept writing in Dick Trickle, so it was a fun time. Drawback? Actually watching NASCAR.
DA BEST – Football. Oh, how great it is. Once a week (watch out for those Thursday games!) and the injury reports are usually very accurate. You know the players, the draft is well documented (have fun following NHL rookies from Latvia) and the stats are easy to track. You, football, are the champion of fantasy sports – at least until I get last place and set fire to my computer. Screw you, 2015. 2014 forever.