I have a few pet peeves. One is the phrase pet peeve. Another is people who get on the internet, read one article and act like they are smart. My mom went to the Lincoln Museum recently and was telling her neighbor about it. “Why did you go there, he was a racist!,” said the brain dead lump of worthless known as her neighbor. She asked me why someone would say that. This is what I saw in my head.
Ah, one of THOSE people. They read one article from a whack job online and they’re off and running. I was going to delve in deep and talk about people that apply modern standards to historical figures, possibly address his writing about separate state options that had some support at the time or look up the argument myself, but she told me his foundation was that the Emancipation Proclamation didn’t actually free the slaves. There it is, now to pee in this guy’s Wheaties, metaphorically, of course. Yes, the Emancipation Proclamation didn’t free the slaves BECAUSE THE WAR WAS STILL GOING ON STUPID. But why Chris, why didn’t he just grab a laser cannon and vaporize the Army of Northern Virginia and end the war instantly? Why didn’t people in a rebelling group of states actively at full blown war with the Union listen to his proclamation because he clearly should have used his mind control like Professor X?
Yes, it didn’t affect the border states, because if Lincoln pissed them off, they could have lost four more states at the time, and in 1863, it wasn’t going too hot for the north. Oh and one of those states, Maryland, would have completely surrounded the US Capital. Never mind the document was revolutionary and started the momentum that led to the permanent eradication of slavery in the United States just over two years and 600,000 casualties later. Plus, I said this, “Tell this dummy Lincoln took a bullet in the back of the head from Booth directly because he ended slavery. Ask this jackass what he’s done for race relations?” I then decided I can tell him myself next time if I ever see him.
I have decided, thanks to this and other really dumb internet things, I will occasionally use this blog to address inaccuracies I see. Hopefully with humor and probably with venom. DON’T MESS WITH MY ROLL DOG LINCOLN, RANDOM NEIGHBOR OF MY MOM. I WILL SMACK YOU DOWN ON A BLOG YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER READ.
