I saw an article that said top 100 Nintendo (NES) games of all time and it was pure, unadulterated trash, so here’s the real one.
Best Sports Game – Tecmo Super Bowl. Baseball Stars was great, being the first sports game you could custom build a whole team, but the jump in football games was astronomical in Tecmo. Full lineups for every team, stat tracking, fun factor through the roof. There wasn’t a better football game after that for six or seven years. Except the running backwards to the goal line trash and the 40 yard dropback followed by a 76 yard bomb. That was dumb. Runner-up: Mike Tyson’s Punch Out. Can’t get over the dumbness of your boxer being 115 lbs. and fighting 300 pound heavyweights, but great otherwise.
Best RPG – Final Fantasy. Dragon Warrior gets points for being the first, Final Fantasy was better overall. (I never played the Dragon Warrior sequels) Maniac Mansion was too bizarre and Shadowgate, while great, had little in replay value (although I love that game). FF also had a character in the Black Mage that looked like Orko from He Man, but when you leveled up he changed to a boring turd magician or it would’ve won outright. Crystalis also up there.
Best Nintendo Classic title – Tie: The Legend of Zelda, Castlevania 3: Dracula’s Curse, and Super Mario Brothers 3. Zelda 2 very underrated, but the first one was the best until the Super NES came out. Mario 3 is better than the first two combined. You can disagree, but YOU’RE WRONG. Castlevania 3 had the best soundtrack of any NES game. I’m listening to it now for inspiration. Runners-up: Mega Man also fun but they made 600 of them. Metroid close, but it took them a decade for a sequel.
Games I liked that everyone else will say, “What in the hell is that game?” – Nightshade was funny and unique, hard as hell. Pirates! was a blast. Defender of the Crown was repetitive, but I like history, so sue me. Duck Tales is the most underrated game they made. I’m sad to admit Scrooge McDuck bouncing on a cane is fun, but they hit a home run.
Games that are popular but sucked – Battletoads was trash. Blatant Ninja Turtles rip off and impossible to beat. Dr. Mario was a Tetris hack. Take the code away from Contra and literally no one talks about that game. I liked it, but are you shitting me with three lives? DUCK HUNT IS PILE OF HUMAN FECES. BOOOOOORRRRRRING. Excitebite is a turdfest. Fun for seven minutes. RC Pro AM is way better.
Well, that’s all I got on this, feel free to comment and call me horrible internet names and set fire to your computer, but I beat Ninja Gaiden, the first Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and even Golgo 13, so I am pretty much a video game master, mostly because I made it through Golgo 13, holy crap that game was ridiculous.