Another family zoo trip in the books – another fun interaction with the best animal to see: people. The trip was quite exciting. I rode a camel with my daughter. Camel is an ancient word meaning “ball smasher with a hump.” I might as well have volunteered my beanbag to sub into a whack-a-mole game. We also saw a whole multitude of animals, including the following…
Old lady in full zoo keeper garb. She was the best – husband, dressed like a normal old guy, white tennis shoes, slacks, golf shirt. The wife? Full length khaki cargo vest and pants, seventy pockets and a zookeeper’s hat. She was at least 80 and I could only wonder, did she have this from back in the day or had she spent years scouring yard sales for the perfect outfit?
Camo guy. Every. Single. Time. I. Go. To. The. Zoo. I can’t visit the zoo without an army (no pun intended) of camo guys. Not military, but hunter camo. Like the zoo is going to need them to step up and take down a charging elephant. If they didn’t have a conceal and carry policy, I’m convinced they would all have scoped hunting rifles strapped to their backs. HEY RANDY, WE GOT THIS ONE. YOU CAN RELAX.
Poop!
Quite unexpectedly, poop was there. I guess from the Emoji movie, haven’t parent suffered through that one yet. It was cartoon day and my daughter saw Dora, Scooby-Doo, an Angry Bird (lame) and then the poo de grace, if you will – Poop. My brain went, “Who would dress up like poop and walk around…ME! ME! ME!” The best part was her talking about seeing poop for three days after more than the animals, well, except the testicle crimper known as a camel.
At least I know if things go south with comedy, I can pick up some side cash dressing up as a pile of yesterday’s supper and frighten children. America really is the best country.