Kids are lazy and I am fat

Well, I picked a hell of a time to start really trying to lose weight.  Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas all on the radar.  We took the kids trick or treating Wednesday.  It was raining all day, but briefly broke so we could run out.  I was hot because I sweat 84% of the year, but my wife went as the Wicked West of the West, so we were all very concerned she may melt.  Rules are rules.

Just because you give us candy doesn’t mean we will be talking, neighbor.

My son did very well, mostly because he’s too young to know how goofy that hat is.  Everyone was really friendly, especially when they kept offering my daughter extra candy.  That’s great, because we all know how that works out.  She ate a couple pieces as was dancing until 10:30.  I almost had to put her in a straightjacket to get her to bed.

Option B?  I eat it because my wife doesn’t like chocolate, which is a good 2/3’s of the candy you get on a bad year.  I’m sure it won’t hurt my diet, I just need to run an extra 8 miles a day and it’s like I never had any!  So I need all you lazy kids to step up and take all the candy before I get out there next year.  Um, there’s winning Xbox tokens in the Werther’s Originals or whatever.  Actually all the candy, except the Heath Bars.  So God help me if you rats take all the Heath bars from me…I mean my kid.