I got to host the Columbus Funny Bone Talent Search finals Wednesday night (and close the show out). It was a great time and is always a very interesting experience to host a contest. 1) I’m usually the only one not about to dislodge their bowels (from nerves, anyway). 2) The crowd is rowdy. 3) The crowd is not rowdy (if their friend or family member isn’t up).
I always open contests with mentioning the clap off at the end of the show, thus enjoy all the comics and get all white trash excited at the end. This is because the first contest I ever did I ate it so hard I nearly switched to poetry reading instead where no one cares how bad you suck. I overheard some ladies whisper as they went past me later, “Remember, we don’t cheer for anyone but Adam!” Some one timer that didn’t even come to open mikes filled the crowd – apparently he worked with 3000 people at Fun Corp and promised free liquor. It makes for a bad show when people do that, so just laugh and go nutty in the butty after.
I also loathe emcees that mail it in. I’m probably the least likely personality type to emcee – I look (and probably am) angry all the time, I am not a high energy comic and I don’t like doing a ton of unscripted crowd work in short sets. That said, if an emcee walks up and says “This next comic works clubs and colleges all over the US” or “This next guy is a close, personal friend of mine” then people tune out the emcee and it makes the energy drop for people trying to win a contest.
That said, I ad lib, which is good practice and much more fun than standing under the fire exit for 90 minutes staring at the next comedian up. Example: A comic went up and sang a song, “You are ugly and therefore difficult to love.” It was very well done and the crowd dug it. I walked up after and said, “I always wondered what song my wife was humming all these years. We have some talking to do tonight!” It got a big laugh. Another comedian during the clap off got a huge applause break and cheer that went on for 20 seconds. I said, “Comedians don’t have friends, what in the hell is going on here?” It broke some of the stage tension, which was good, because I knew the next comic was going to be washed in silence compared to that.
All in all, it was a strong set by all and a well earned win by Johnny Phillips (WHO IS APPEARING TONIGHT WITH ME AT REHAB TAVERN AT 8PM, 456 W. TOWN ST. COLUMBUS OHIO FREE TO THE PUBLIC, COUGH COUGH). He won some cash, plus gets some club work and finally a trophy and his name on a plaque. I would have my name on a plaque from when I won in 2008, but no one is alive who was on that show, so I’ll have to plow on. (COME OUT TO REHAB TAVERN TONIGHT AND MAYBE I’LL TALK ABOUT IT AND SECRET TREASURE LOCATIONS)