Bar shows are pretty common and I’ve done hundreds at this point. In fact, if you tally up all the comedy clubs, lodge halls and conference rooms, I’ve still probably done more bar shows. Most are good, but it’s tough and here’s why.
TV’s – Turn them off. I forgot to have the TV’s turned off recently and Japanese pro wrestling came off. The sound was off, but I dare you to pay attention when a guy in a white sequined jumpsuit and fake blonde hair is stomping another guy’s guts in. I did a show in Cleveland the night LeBron came back to play as a member of the Heat for the first time. I could have lit myself on fire and had no chance.
The drunks – You may want to sit down for this one. People talk more, and louder, as they drink. My favorites are the ones that talk for 15 minutes, then turn around and notice comedy for the first time. Even better? When they turn around, notice comedy and yell, “You’re not funny!” when you don’t make them laugh in four seconds.
The little things – Some places forget you need things like a microphone, lights or a stage. I did a show once where they had what could only be the batsignal without the bat. I had spots in my eyes for an hour afterwards and couldn’t see a single person. One venue forgot the mic…and the speakers…and the wires. “Don’t you have all that in your car?” Yes, it’s right under the wooden stage in my trunk.
I am running through all this because someone went onto the Facebook event page and trashed the show I did. Another patron had some harsh words for this wonderful human who posted the comment either uncaring or ignorant of the fact all the comics were on the event page. I told her that busy crowd bar shows are tough and as for the dirty nature of the show, it was a bar on a Friday. I mentioned I did a clean show where five people told me afterwards they wished I had cursed. You can’t win sometimes. I reflected upon how mature and reasoned my answer was. I then sacrificed a chicken and wished a blood curse on her and all her descendants as I danced around the fire. That’s more like it.