My daughter is really into books right now. Well, sort of, she likes turning the pages while you’re trying to read to see the next picture. She is my child, after all. The other day she grabbed my reading glasses, so I took them off. I realized I couldn’t read the words in the Elmo book, so I just improvised.
I inserted my own dialogue to spice it up. Elmo: “Hey man, you want to hang out or something?” Oscar: “Man you better get out of my face.” E: “Whatever man, I’ll stuff you back in that trash can.” O: “Whatever is right, you best keep steppin’.” E: “Yeah, I will because I want to, not because you told me to.” O: “That’s what I thought!” At this point Mom started paying attention to Dad’s story time. “Dad’s story sounds awful.” Whatever, Mom.
Elmo: “You two want to hang out or something?” Bert: “Man, we got stuff to do.” E: “Whatever man. You can deal with your own problems.” Bert: “Whatever man, you better mind your own business.” E: “Yeah, you’re lucky I don’t have time for you fools.” B: “Yeah, you’re lucky I’m busy cleaning up this crap.” E: “Whatever, man!” B: “Yeah, whatever is right!” Mom chimed in again, “Dad isn’t allowed to make up anymore stories.” I got this.
Elmo: “Hey, what’s up?” Zoe: “Just blowing bubbles and stuff. What’s it to you?” E: “Whatever.” Z: “Yeah, whatever. You want to hang out and stuff?” E: “Yeah, I guess or something.” THE END. By the end my daughter was whimpering, clearly moved by the beautiful story her father came up with all on his own. In other news, my wife will be reading most of the books and also teaching her how to interact with other people. Whatever.