One thing I learned pretty quickly in comedy that really surprised me was that it is easier to perform in front of bigger crowds than smaller crowds. The first time I did any real stand up was at the Columbus Funny Bone in 2007. The local morning zoo DJ’s also were up that night, so it was sold out. 300 people. It wasn’t that bad. Of course, I had drank seven beers in an hour and a half, so that helped.
Less than a year later, I was asked to do a 20 minute (or so) set at a bar in West Columbus. One of the comics no showed or was abducted by aliens or was smart and did it on purpose, so I was left to entertain the patrons. There were four. They had heard a comedian from Zanesville was there – yay! They thought it was my buddy Camp, not me – boo! The owner told me if I didn’t do 45 minutes, I wasn’t getting paid. He must have stupidly thought crowds would line up down the street to see a headliner who a year before didn’t have three minutes of material. The four superfans of mine found out I wasn’t Camp and got up to leave. I appealed to their good mercy – “I’m pretty funny too. Camp is one of my oldest pals. If you guys leave, I have to do a show for the bartender and owner, who is angry.” They stayed. They didn’t enjoy any of the show whatsoever. I could see the annoyance on their faces brighter than the sun.
Then of course, there’s no one at all. My wife is doing a show Feb. 12 where the gag is the non-comics in the relationship do the comics’ material. I just recorded my own self for her to get a refresher, doing five minutes…in our dark basement…to no one. I felt like a couple psychopath. I had to start over three times and forgot all my material. Well, problem solved – I’ll just do huge sellout crowds like usual. When I get an agent in five decades, I’ll let him or her know that.