Saturday night I got to do the Columbus Comedy Festival. It was a great crowd with great comedians; I even sold a DVD after the show, so I’ve met my quota for the year. Afterwards, I went out for a couple beers. As I was walking down the street with my bag full of merch, a guy pulled up, turned around in the middle of the street and tried to park next to a fire hydrant. “Am I cool?” Not really, I am pretty sure you can’t block fire hydrants like you blocked the entire street doing a u-turn. “You sure?” Go ahead, I’m sure it’s fine. He didn’t believe me.
He then pulled up next to me as I was walking, “Where can I park?” I’d keep going until I saw an open spot, go down farther. “Are there spots there?” I guess so. “Will I get a ticket?” I don’t know man, I’m not a meter maid. He did another turn around and stopped. “That way?” Holy shit, man – can you just park? He finally pulled away. I think he wanted me to park his car or stand beside it while he went bar hopping. This whole annoying incident made me realize yet again, I should never talk to strangers. Someday, someone will legitimately need my help and thanks to this guy, and pretty much everyone who has wasted my time at grocery stores and banks the last 10 years, I will flip them off and go about my day. YOU DID THIS TO ME, SOCIETY. YOU!