Now that I have a kid on the way, I started noticing baby stuff that I never paid attention to before. Some of it is frightening.
Baby Commercials – I saw one for Pull-Ups where the kid actually pulls them up and down. I got it Pampers or whomever made this commercial. I don’t need to see the action – the name pretty much explains it. I’m not going to put it on my kid’s head and hope for the best.
Kids TV shows – When I was checking the channels the other day, I started to become aware of kids’ shows. I watched one for about 32 seconds and broke out into a cold sweat. I may cancel cable when baby Coen is about one. I think it’s a good trade-off. No TV for me may be worth not watching the train wreck that is adults wearing brightly colored outfits and dancing around like asses while they sing about the color orange.
Baby stores – I went to one with my wife. I wondered why we needed so many damn onesies, then I was told there will be much body fluid being sprayed without warning from multiple zones. This one I can deal with, I used to live a fraternity house with 33 other guys. At least it will be coming from a 10 pound source and not a 220 lb. drunk. Plus I’ve been talking to my wife’s stomach while she sleeps telling my baby about how to use the toilet. I’m very proficient in how to use it – I am guessing he or she will be toilet trained by five weeks or so.