One Christmas tradition when I was a kid was playing cards. I watched for a couple years and decided to jump in. In about five minutes, my great grandpa had taken my money. I asked for it back. “If you didn’t want to lose your money, you shouldn’t have gambled.” It would be a better story if it actually stuck, but trust me, it didn’t. Don’t go to Vegas the weekend you got your tax return back.
This year, I played Euchre against my granny in-law (I think that’s a thing – granny in law, that is, I know Euchre is a thing). After six games, my wife and I managed about 16 points out of a possible 60. Here’s some samples of what gam gam said during the massacre. “What’s that card? A heart or club? I can’t see. A heart? Pick it up.” Then they won all the tricks. Can’t see the card my ass. Another gem. “I can’t believe we took that hand! I only had a nine.” Me – “You called it on a nine?” I think if she offered me a butterscotch, it would have been drugged. She must have met my great Grandpa back in the day and heard I was an easy mark.
The only logical conclusion is that all old people cheat at cards and probably everything in life. The other conclusion is that if you don’t play Euchre, this is probably the worst blog you’ve ever read. Sorry.