I went last week to turn in my passport application. I waited in line only to find out they weren’t accepting applications, not sure why, but I was very happy I waited in line for ten minutes to find that out. I went to another post office, in a less than nice area. When I walked in, a Somalian and two postal employees were arguing about a lock box. By the way, any time a foreigner is screaming, I hear terrorism. It ended when the guy tossed his keys at the manager. “Who raised you? Who throws their keys? Were you raised by animals?” Then they tossed him. I knew it would take about five minutes for him to go get his gun, so I had to move quickly.
I walked up and said hello to the very angry looking lady behind the desk was chomping gum voraciously and staring at me with a look that said “I have no soul.” “Do you have an appointment?” No, I don’t. “You need an appointment sir!” OK, can I make one. “You need to call sir!” If I call, will one of you pick it up? Seems like I could just make it now. “CALL SIR.” I walked out, called and made an appointment. Not at that post office, I figured it would be crime scene.
I went back to the original post office. “I have an appointment at ten.” Another angry lady – “We don’t take appointments, sir.” I talked to someone, they said I had an appointment at ten. “SIR, WE DON’T TAKE APPOINTMENTS. Come back at ten!” That’s when my appointment is…whatever. I’ll come back IN 18 MINUTES. (I can be a dick too, lady.)
I came back inside and there was a man in front of me with a three year old girl. Of course, he got in front of me, he had an appointment. “I need to renew her passport.” Sir, you can’t renew her passport if she doesn’t have one. This went back and forth for several minutes, as a grown man was unable to comprehend the word renew. I was about to have a stroke when the passport expert pointed out he had not filled out any paperwork. Good thing he has a child.
I finally got it turned in, paid the ridiculous fees and had the passport lady proceed to tell me about her day, her work schedule, how busy she was…I blacked out until she looked at me and said “I said you’re all set. Sir?” Huh? I’m sorry, I went into mental turtle mode. I was imagining a world where I never had to stand in a post office and talk to strangers.