Well not really, but I was researching honeymoon info online, when suddenly, Twilight came on my television. “Twilight. We should change this.” I then heard the most horrifying sentences from my fiancee. “I haven’t seen this in a while. I want to watch it.” Dear Lord, I’m about to watch this movie.
Here’s a recap, in case you’ve never seen it. Girl somehow dates a vampire who has a big family of vampires in a town of about 2000 people. Somehow, no one knows they’re vampires. They fight, love, breakup, love, then there are vampire fights, then love, then he dumps her, more vampire fights and they get back together. Then the damn second one came on. The vamp left town, so she did want every girl does, she started flirting with a werewolf boy. Then the vamp realizes he needs her and the wolf boy doesn’t like it, but they’re cool so more vampires fight over her delicious blood and/or love. Holy crap, no one in this town of idiots knows there is a monster mash going on every night? I pondered things such as this, while I sat down to pee, since I just watched two Twilight movies and now that’s how I have to pee, it’s the law.
Of all the characters in this tale of supernatural romance, the girl’s dad was the worst. Over the course of two films, she ran away from home three times, once to Italy, once to Arizona, and once to the woods and he seemed like it was no big deal. I take it back, he did ground her once, but rescinded it. Oh and to top it off, he was the police chief. Good job finding the hordes of devil creatures trying to nail your teenage daughter, Barney Fife. I felt like he was the type of dad that let his kid call him Steve instead of dad, which is almost as bad letting your teenager date undead bloodthirsty abominations. Now excuse me, I have to text my BFF and ask her whether she’s Team Edward or Team Jacob. OMG! Team Edward? Did you see Jacob’s abs! LOL! I’d let him get to second base with me!